“In the end, we didn’t get much studying done.”
On the way home, Yuzuru said that with a wry smile.
Of course, he’d known from the start that studying with that group probably wouldn’t be very productive.
“…Sorry about that.”
It didn’t matter if his own studying suffered, but dragging Arisa down with him—that made him feel a bit guilty.
Somehow, he felt like he’d led her astray.
Arisa, meanwhile, gave a small, awkward smile.
“Ahaha… well, it’s true I didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped, so I’ll have to study when I get home…”
Then she softened her eyes.
“But it was fun.”
She clasped her hands behind her back and walked with a slightly springy step.
“It’s been a while since I’ve had that much fun with a group of people… no, it might’ve been my first time.”
“You never had the chance before?”
Yuzuru himself didn’t have a particularly wide social circle.
But he at least had friends like Soichiro and Hijiri.
From what he’d seen, Arisa’s past relationships had been more like casual acquaintances—people she’d exchange small talk with over lunch.
Had no one ever invited her out?
It seemed unlikely that in sixteen years, she’d never had a single opportunity.
“No… thinking about it now, I probably did have chances. There were people who invited me. The problem was me.”
With that, Arisa sighed.
Just moments ago she’d seemed cheerful—but now she’d slipped back into her “I’m a bad person” mode.
“The past is the past. And… it’s understandable why you acted that way. …You didn’t want your situation to be known, right?”
Once people got closer, there’d inevitably be moments where family circumstances came up.
They might distance themselves.
Or spread rumours out of curiosity.
If that was the risk, it was easier not to get close to anyone in the first place.
That was how Yuzuru had interpreted her behaviour—
“…That’s not quite it.”
Apparently, he was slightly off.
“What I didn’t want was… people getting involved in my situation.”
“…You didn’t want to drag them in?”
“It’s not that noble a reason.”
Arisa shook her head weakly.
A self-deprecating smile appeared on her lips.
“I just didn’t want anyone doing something that might make things worse for me. That’s all.”
“I see.”
“…Selfish, isn’t it?”
“If it’s about protecting yourself, that’s only natural.”
You could call it selfish, perhaps.
But protecting yourself wasn’t wrong.
“But—”
“You’re not a bad person.”
Yuzuru cut her off.
Arisa looked slightly surprised.
He repeated himself, firmly.
“You’re not a bad person. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again—I guarantee it.”
“…Isn’t that just because you don’t really know me, Yuzuru-san?”
Her tone carried a hint of reproach.
As if saying—don’t say things like that so lightly.
Even she seemed aware she was taking it out on him.
Her expression shifted from irritation to gloom in an instant.
Still, she couldn’t help herself.
“I’m… much uglier than you think.”
“Really? I may not know everything, but we’ve spent half a year together. I think I have a decent grasp of your personality.”
He knew her good points.
And her bad ones too.
“That’s not true.”
“Well, I won’t know unless you tell me.”
“…”
Arisa fell silent for a moment.
Then, in a small voice:
“I’m selfish.”
“That’s it?”
She shook her head.
“I’m gloomy, spiteful, negative…”
“I know.”
“Arrogant, jealous, narcissistic…”
“I know that too.”
“Could you at least deny some of it!?”
“Don’t forget stubborn.”
Yuzuru said it with a laugh.
Arisa puffed her cheeks and looked away.
She wanted her flaws to be denied—
But she also didn’t want to be told empty reassurances by someone who didn’t understand her.
That was probably how she felt.
A bit—no, quite—complicated.
“Everyone has a flaw or two. That doesn’t make you a bad person.”
“But—”
“No ‘but’. …If having flaws makes you a bad person, then I’d be downright evil.”
Yuzuru shrugged playfully.
Still, Arisa muttered, “But…”
“You have plenty of good points too.”
“…I don’t.”
“You’re serious, hardworking, a great cook, smart, athletic, kind, considerate, attentive, cool, stylish, cute, beautiful, and your figure is—”
“That’s harassment!”
Arisa covered her ears.
Her face flushed bright red.
Her jade eyes, faintly teary, glared at him.
“Sorry, I went too far. Forgive me.”
“…I won’t.”
“I’ll do anything.”
“…Then, may I ask one thing?”
Arisa stopped walking.
Looking up at him with tearful eyes, her voice barely above a whisper—
“Please… lend me your chest.”
“Alright.”
